One Cure

I had a friend who eventually, I stopped being friends with her- because she talked behind my back. And actually she had no friends…

Because she spoke behind everyone’s back and her (ex) husband’s as well. To their faces, she was the best of friends but behind their back she spoke poorly of them.

It’s a directive I provide to my clients: do not speak poorly about your partner. Do not speak behind their back. Once this is done, it dissipates a lot of anger and tension.

I encourage you to see speaking behind anyone’s back as simply a violation of your code of ethics. The mystics of Judaism called this the evil tongue and it is considered a form of murder, character assassination because it is so hurtful and harmful to the speaker and to the person being spoken poorly of.

Instead of turning away and speaking poorly about your partner, turn towards them and say what you feel, easier said than done. That hurt me. I feel degraded. I feel sad. You will get you to the other side of this thru. Not around.

Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.

Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning